I see you struggling with this thing called life. I am, too. Struggling to keep up, struggling to find your way.
But honestly, you’re mainly struggling to be accepted in other’s eyes. Trying to be liked, understood, even. If that’s you, or ever has been… me too.
It feels like almost my whole life, insecurity and jealousy have gotten the best of me. But it hasn’t been until the last few years that I’ve been aware of it. It has been what’s kept me up at night. It’s stolen my joy and my confidence. It’s completely gotten a hold of me.
There have been summer nights I went sleepless because I was just worrying about my the upcoming school year. How I would do in my classes, if i would have enough friends too even ‘look’ acceptable, how I would adjust to the many changes it would come with. It was a war for me.
I’m sure we can all relate to this, in ways. We all have those days when we feel insecure, inadequate, incapable, and unloved. I know for me, it has gotten in the way of how I think about myself, others, and even God.
The desire to be accepted by people was greater than my desire to be the woman of God that He created me to be.
Honestly, it has only been the last couple years that I have truly learned my lesson. Recently, I have been blessed to experience the never-ending, ever-deepening, all-constant love that is God. He has truly shown me in many ways just how much love He has for me. I can not explain it.
My goodness, if you are falling under the trap of comparison, please, look to Jesus. He is in love with YOU. It doesn’t matter if you talk to him everyday or if you have never even said a word to Him, God has a love for you that no one else in the entire world will ever be able to have for you.
Something I have learned, recently more than ever, is that it is so exhausting trying to live for someone. For people. I’ve done it. I have tried so much to fit in, to be accepted, to be liked. It doesn’t satisfy you. No matter how popular you are or how many people follow you on social media, no matter how many people like you or want you, you will NEVER be satisfied.
The truth is, you were not meant to hold the weight of the world’s opinions on your shoulders. You were meant to experience and know God’s sacrificial, whole, and perfect love for you. That is your purpose.
The next time you forget you are, remind yourself whose you are; to whom you belong. Stop depending on the mirror or someone else’s opinion of you to feel enough. Because Jesus determined your true worth when he died for you on the cross. He did it not because you did anything to deserve it, but because He loves you.
He hears you, He wants you, and He loves you. That’s all you really need.
“Mightier than the waves of the sea is my love for you.” // Psalm 93:4
“I will never forget you. See, upon the palms of my hands I have written your name.” // Isaiah 49:15-16
“You are precious in my eyes, and honored and I love you.” // Isaiah 43:4